#muscles nerves and all
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persona 3 fes answer spoilers
SEES after seeing Makoto’s “disappearance” in the Answer:
#you know the one#the scene where they see makoto go away again but this time they show EVERY LAYER OF HIS BODY#muscles nerves and all#how the hekl did they just see that and go all “oh so that just happened we won!#no they would be TRAUMATIZED#And I’m not prepared to see it in the reloaded version if they’re gonna do it again#but at least have SEES have a bigger reaction than just WE WON#persona#persona 3#persona 3 fes#persona 3 the answer#like that’s your friend who dies again before your eyes#wtf??
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i need to know how crowley walked when he was still an angel
#shax walks like the lovechild of a penguin and hercule poirot#crowley walks like he forgot a body is supposed to hava a few extra muscles and nerves#the angels all walk pretty much okay#did he walk ok or was he always like that#good omens
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last time i got an irl writing critique there was one moment of pretty mild body horror and the universal reaction was "oh i'm nauseous. well done" so now i'm writing my next chapters like. gotta turn that up to one thousand :) sorry devin.
#the intimacy of someone perching on your legs and carefully unraveling strands of parasitic bullshit from your actual open spine w tweezers#best thing i've done is give devin healing magic that lets them sustain regular massive organ damage except make things heal wrong.#your skin is scarred and warped all over because the holes clot immediately no matter the size and the new flesh is never quite right#the torn muscles knit new fibers together to bridge the gaps with no regard for their usual shape#god help you if you need that muscle to stretch or flex or bend properly. you either do months of PT to regain function#or you rip the limb apart again and keep it stretched while it heals itself#nearly every day your magic fragments another nerve and the pathways never quite connect right#numbness in the fingers difficulty closing the fists a constant unbalanced borderline-lurch in the gait#paralysis from spinal damage is only a temporary possibility but the pain of a miswired CNS makes paralysis preferable#your blood is always sort of septic but also always sort of cleaning itself. if it bleaches bits that are supposed to be there oh well!#original fiction#devin#horror#body horror#autoimmune tag
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Mechagnomes? How about mechagob (kind of)?
I've been adding little bits to her story lately and it's still on the very rough outline stage but the gist of it: Acácia volunteered to test drive a new prosthetic tech. The original test models were... bad, to say the least, but she was able to get much better custom made ones after the fact.
Her prosthetics are powered by a mix of arcane magic, elemental magic and a secret third thing. They connect to her nerve endings through magic and implants along her spine, but they're not and will never be perfect replacements to the limbs she lost.
#artists on tumblr#world of warcraft#warcraft goblin#goblin#ocs#she struggles with phantom pains and muscle soreness as well as a strange nerve fatigue from the neural load of the prosthetics#she has good days and bad days and tries to make the best of the situation. she's an optimist and that didn't change after the fact#taraya is her prosthetist (of course)#and she was the one who fixed the mess that was left of acácia's nerves and limbs after the first proceedure failed#taraya had to invent new tech practically from scratch so acácia's nerves and body could handle the strain#and she later was able to swap out the janky test models for the newer and much more functional custom ones#acácia knows all about the upkeep and inner working of her limbs as well#taraya taught her to make sure she could be as independent as possible but she still needs help occasionally#oc:acacia
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So I've noticed recently an issue I tend to have with a lot of pain clinics and doctors in general is that I tend to have appointments early in the day when my pain isn't as bad as it usually is by the end of the day, and so I'll be like "yeah I have pain in my back and knees" and so they'll have me move around my back and knees to see what hurts, but since my pain isn't bad yet those movements don't hurt, so then they think I don't have pain or at least they don't believe my pain is as bad as I say it is. (Which extra sucks bcs typically those movements do hurt...AFTER the appointment. Which isn't helpful.)
So I've decided for my next intake I am going to schedule it as late in the day as I can and then spend the time before it doing anything I can think of to purposefully make my pain as bad as possible so I'm like, actually in believable ammounts of pain when I go in.
Should I have to do that? No! Is that bad bcs EDS is a degenerative disease and so doing things that hurt on purpose is really bad for me? Yep! Am I going to have to do it just to get these clowns to take me seriously? Absolutely 🙃
#like my last doctor sucked for a lot of reasons but he was SO convinced my pain was muscular#because I went there at like 9am and was feeling okay so when he asked me to move my back#the only thing that hurt was the muscles stretching#and so he just didnt believe my pain was coming from my nerves and my bones#despite the fact that I have imaging and diagnosises proving it's my nerves and bones#and then the muscle relaxers he prescribed didnt help at all and he was like *shrug* idk#fucking clown show#so yeah#just gonna have to Make Sure my pain is bad when I go in so they believe me
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was watching the house that the dragons built and you're telling me they filmed a shot that SHOWS AEMOND'S DISSECTED EYE JUST CHILLING IN A TRAY??? I don't think tumblr will let me post bc it's very gorey but like the maesters had to CUT OUT HIS EYE bc it wasn't salvageable y'all it's so much worse than I thought 😭😭😭
#and it has all tnese nerve and muscle fibers trailing from it like oh my GOD#i am shook#aemond#aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#hotd#house of the dragon
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one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.
#tw sh#the one from a fortnight ago. which i have told nobody irl about including the person to which i showed the first one. is still thinking#about healing and not really doing it yet. it'll get there. might have to wear a bandage or smth on placement#if we were going into winter i would think there was a serious concern of doing it a bunch more but for now i know i absolutely cannot#because it will be visible.#i mean it already will but im gonna pretend it was from months ago and hopefully deflect questions about just how i got such scars#actually the one that i think approached muscle is surprisingly close to healed and probably going to scar surprisingly little#the other one is simply too fresh still to know how it'll scar#should've taken progress pictures to monitor healing but was too scared others would accidentally see it#didn't want to traumatise folks#honestly was genuinely tempted to take one (1) photo of the more recent one and post on my secret sh tumblr but i talked myself out of that#anyway im fine#personal#puddleglum hours#yesterday dad hugged me and patted my arm and it was LITERALLY directly on top of the fresher one but i was able to Not flinch#fun fact: when you go that deep it is in fact Less painful than a few layers shallower#which i found to my own concern the first time and was freaking out thinking id done something nerve-related#anyway yes i really am fine prommy#fessed up to my doc about self harming anyway#and technically unless muscle is involved it is clinically described as superficial#(fat layer is the one where they will nearly always consider sutures necessary but some shallower will be dependent on how much they gape)#but also because of how much blood there is every time you kinda have to spend longer making sure you're not gonna bleed all over everythin#so that also stops me bc oh it's nearly midnight i cannot devote like two hours or three to making sure i don't wake up in a puddle of bloo#(hyperbole)#anyway in some ways i find this funny. probably should be vaguely concerned. but eh
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if someone wants to come replace my pelvis thatd be great
#i have been having such intense pain beside my coccyx i cant tell if its just a pulled muscle or a pinched nerve or a herniated disk#but it fucking HURTS and i can barely sleep#i cant stand i cant sit i cant lay down it just fucking hurts all the time
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Aughhhhh I had half a veg wrap and a bowl of ramen broth and a green juice and a DayQuil and all my usual meds and vitamins and inhalers and a sumatriptan for the burgeoning migraine and I still feel sooo bad and have to leave at 6 am for work tomorrow. I'm packing a green juice and a half veg wrap for work lunch and bringing a water bottle with extra Liquid IV sachets and am going to use my cane but askdjjffkrkfkrpfkfjfkfkfkf. I try so hard to take care of my body but I always look and feel fucking awful. I need to shower again but am afraid if I do I won't be able to manage the commute tomorrow morning. I need to be on SSI lol
#My legs always feel like they're being fried in scalding oil#Especially my left leg and more and more often#The nerves in my left leg just stop responding re: muscle contraction at all#And the leg collapses#I can't even twitch my foot#And when that happens I fall over#Idk what's causing the progressive nerve damage but I have a lot of swelling on the left side and it's the side that#Was damaged with my TBI#I.e. I had damage on the right side of my brain which affects the left side of my body#The pain and intermittent paralysis are getting worse and worse
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Mikusonas are still a thing, right? Okay cool anyway here's my anatomy Miku he's so weirdgirl
#starscatter#vocaloid#hatsune miku#mikusona#tw gore#gore tw#eyestrain#gore im not really sure on but the background is bright enough for an eyestrain tag i think#OH WAIT#tw needles#needles tw#tw medical#medical tw#okay i think thats everything#i havent named him yet but hes here and hes so silly#ive had him planned since like. last year. and i only just got around to drawing him#his design other than his skirt are all medical btw#twin tails are neurons#top is rib cage#needles are... well. needles#sleeves are abstract muscle/vein#legs are nerves and adipose#shoes are degloved horse hooves#belts are intestines and muscles#and nail polish is radioactive inspired (black and neon green)
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im becoming an encyclopedia of hand and arm fatigue. like the names of the exact tendons and nerves and what to do about them type thing
#can’t tell you anything about any other muscles though#kipspeak#the fun part of having all four main arm nerves and most tendons injured at some point
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I messed up my wrist ☹️
#gotta be wearing my wrist brace again#can't even properly hold my phone or open doors without going ouchie 🥺 someone kiss it better pls#my whole muscle nerve thingy from the shoulder to the middle of my palm hurts 🙁#lil scared but we ball. i'm doing all the reccomended stuff and will start taking brufen today to help with the inflammation#my right hand too. my bow hand 🥺 writing hand 🥺#I NEED TO FINISH THIS DAMN KNIT SCARF THIS IS THE WORST#at least the brace is helping. as long as i keep it straight all is good#can't even bend and break to my basic needs to move my hands in peace smh#darya talks to herself
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When you wake up and boom, your arms don’t work, your elbows and wrists feel like they just got hit with a sledgehammer and your neck is all puffed up and raging. Typing with one finger - I’ve reached literal hell, you guys.
I mean, how dare I wake up expecting to actually do stuff today, right?
Gotta go to the doctor and explain progesterone rises are bad and my spine fell apart AGAIN today. I would ask you guys to wish me luck but dealing with the NHS is like on scale of ‘incompetent’, ‘ignorant’, ‘arsehole’ or ‘deranged psycho’, sooo...
#hypermobile ehlers danlos#nerve entrapment#all you get from a&e is ‘because you’ve got EDS we do nothing’#then my gp has the cheek to ask why I’m using my wheelchair#umm my stupid kneecap dislocates whenever the heck it likes#then paaaain and nobody helps#like literally nobody#this isn’t new#then pots#god sometimes my walking stick literally stops me fainting#aaaand how am I supposed to use my stick when my elbow is like ‘welcome to my nightmare’#the hand is like ‘shit how do muscles work again’#and my shoulder is like ‘we meet again - to dislocate or not to dislocate’#doctors are idiots#what do they even learn
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don't you love when you dream you were stabbed or shot or fell and broke something or some other thing and wake up to some kind of severe pain that makes you wanna cry but you can't do anything about it to stop it. and bonus points if you also have to pee really bad so have to force yourself to get up 😐
also I accidentally missed my volunteering today because I tried to get up a few times but it hurt and I gave up and fell back asleep and kept getting woke up by those pain dreams fbddsjjsjjs I feel so disoriented and out of it. idk what to do about it. Just ignore it I guess 🥲 have to go back to work in a couple hours and mop up salt for 5 hours again. ugh. can the snow and cold stop existing now?????? it's so painful 🥲😭
also I can't tell if I feel like i'm going to throw up because of stomach issues or because sometimes my chronic pains seem to make me nauseous for some reason in general. or both???? I want to disappear for a while. not go back to work 😭😭😭😭
#chronic pain#lee rants#regular pain meds like ibuprofen dont work on me#once i was in so much pain i took like 10 or 12 (lost count) of them in 3 hours because they woulsnt work and i just threw up lmao#now they make my stomach hurt so i refuse to take them#so i just suffer and accept my pain#never tried stronger stuff but dont want to because reasons. also its so hard to get prescription pain meds here because#i live in an area with high rates of addiction and drug abuse and stuff so pain meds are barely prescribed now. they will deny you#actually i lied i tried some after i had a surgery. surgery area didnt hurt much but my back pain and migraines were AWFUL and#the prescription opioid did nothing for either of them. so i just never took them. i still have them. but dout you can take 5 year old meds#so i probably shouldnt try#afraid to talk to a doctor about my chronic pain since theyre all used to everyone aroujd here only seeking drugs#and heard horror stories from family about doctors and even emergency clinics denying them pain meds becasue#they were accused of faking for drugs. its so bad here. ill be labled as “drug seeker” and get ignored#even tho i dont even want them! i just want some kind of useful help so i can sleep and walk without my joints feeling like HELL.#and my muscles screaming and my nerves electrocuting me every time i move!!#sighs. all i have to do is get used to the growing pain over and over and keep learning how to ignore it
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Do you have bendy ligaments or some other fresh hell?
I can't imagine how exhausting chronic pain is. Gentle hugs 💚
i sure do 😭 but ive also the "some other fresh hell" too lol, idk what exactly the cause of my chronic pain is i just know theres a lot of it :s ty for the gentle hugs tho 💚
#kcqt asks#kcqt rambles#my joints have been giving me a LOOOOT of grief lately#like. sometimes theyre worse and sometimes theyre better#rn theyre way worse#but its not just the joint pain#its also the muscle pain and the nerve pain and the GI pain and the headaches and the angina and and and#it rly is exhausting -_-#i always wonder if my cfs is its own independent thing or if it only exists bc of the pain/anxiety/depression/etc#like if i were able to get all those treated wld i STILL be tired all the time?#wld be curious to see#hopefully i get a chance to one day lol
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Well, guess who just learned that his intense shoulder pain is actually caused by anxiety!
I get intense shoulder pain cuz my anxiety gets so bad in public that I'm in a constant state of fight or flight every time I leave the house!
How delightful.. /sarc
At school, in town, out of town, at the store, doctor's office, therapy, literally everywhere I go where there's people. Goin out in public quite literally PHYSICALLY hurts me. Which is actually super funny to me but also. Ow.
#dusty yaps#learned about this by talkin to my parents#and my therapist#i should talk to my doctor about it but schedulin an appointment that works for everyone's schedules is HELL#theres been multiple incidents where ill be out shoppin with my family#and then the pain gets so bad that I leave and wait in the car until they come back out#i fuckin hate both anxiety and fight or flight instincts#cuz my anxiety literally hurts me#and with fight or flight its almost always flight#i really am a prey animal jesus christ 😭#WHEN I MADE MY SONA IN THE LIKENESS OF A DEER I DIDNT MEAN FOR THINGS TO TURN OUT LIKE THIS#SOBS#no wonder im so tense all the time..#like i have a high pain tolerance but THIS SHIT REALLY FUCKIN HURTS#it feels like someones actively pinchin the muscles and nerves in your shoulder#and puttin a heat gun to the area at full blast#for HOURS at a time dependin on how long youre out in public#after a while it gets unbearable#does this classifiy as chronic pain?#i dunno#all i know is it hurts
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